


Underwater

by porterville



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Child Abuse, Drowning, Gen, although bojack is 22 in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24123751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porterville/pseuds/porterville
Summary: "I haven't been underwater since my mom tried to drown me in the bathtub when I was 22."Short fic based on one line.
Relationships: Beatrice Horseman & BoJack Horseman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 64





	Underwater

**Author's Note:**

> God, every time they allude to how HORRIFIC BoJack's childhood was I'm like, ugh. I've wanted to write this one for a while, but this show's tone is SO hard to capture. I also feel like it's a hard show to write fic for because I love it SO much and there's not much I'd change about it. Love me some BoJack. 
> 
> Be warned - if you don't like reading about drowning this ain't for you, chief.

Relaxing… Now. Okay… now. 

He took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled. Now!

It really would have been better for everyone if he’d just gotten a hotel room, but he couldn’t afford it. Between gas spent driving the six-hour-fucking-drive from L.A. to San Francisco, to the fact that his parents wouldn’t let him eat any of their food, BoJack was broke. Truly, there was nowhere on earth he’d rather not be than here, his childhood home. Or, rather, the deep dark hole he’d crawled out of to try and make something of himself in L.A. with Herb and Charlotte. He swore he’d never come back here again once he moved down there for good, but here he was in the goddamn bathtub of all places. He just wanted to be alone, wanted to minimize contact with his parents as much as possible. Hence the bath. 

Nope, it was no use. Relaxation wasn’t happening. Being here invaded every sense he had, reminded him of too many things, so closing his eyes wasn’t helping. This whole damn house was full of ghosts, and his parents didn’t even have the decency to be dead. 

As soon as the thought materialized, he felt guilty for having it. The whole reason he was even back in San Francisco was because Grandma died. And, well, he hated his parents, but she’d never done anything to him. She had been distant, kinda quiet, but… he didn’t know. Deep down, he felt like he had to pay some sort of tribute to her. Anyone who could look at his mother and love her unconditionally, he thought, must have been a saint. 

“You ruined my life!” 

BoJack sat up, startled. Goddammit, he’d been relaxed and he didn’t even realize it! 

He didn’t have time to be angry, because before he knew it the door slammed open. His mother came barreling in, hand against the wall to steady her drunken stumbling, and headed straight for the medicine cabinet. 

“Mom!” BoJack yelled, moving to cover himself, but instead of doing whatever a normal person would do and immediately exit the bathroom where their son was currently taking a bath, Beatrice wrenched open the cabinet and started grabbing at their stockpile of medications. She was unscrewing caps, pouring tablets into the toilet, flushing. She was muttering under her breath, wobbling, cursing his father. BoJack was still yelling, “Get out! I’m-“

She turned her attention on him, and oh man, she was plastered. For a split second she seemed surprised he was there, then her features twisted into fury. “You-“ BoJack felt cornered all of a sudden. More cornered, rather. He knew he had a split second to make a decision on what to do, but unfortunately, the split second passed. 

Her hands were around his throat, forcing him underwater. He grabbed her wrists, but whatever passionate drive in her she had to kill him, he just didn’t possess. He grabbed the shower curtain, yanking it down off its rung and onto them both, but it didn’t deter her. She was looking him in the eyes, and little spots in his vision were fading, and he was realizing now that this is very much how he is going to die, without making anything of himself and without talking to Herb or Charlotte ever again, and the most interesting thing about him was going to be that his bitch of a mother drowned him. 

At least it was fucking quiet under here. 

BoJack wasn’t sure what happened first, if Beatrice let up for a moment, or if panic took over, but all of a sudden he broke the surface of the water. Involuntarily, he was breathing deep gulps of air. He shoved Beatrice away from him. His head was spinning. He still felt like he was drowning. 

In that moment, he achieved a sort of perfect clarity he attributed to lack of oxygen. His mother did not love him, wether she was capable of it or if she even wanted to, and he was never going to set foot in this house ever again. He leaned over the side of the tub and puked. 

Beatrice got herself to her feet, looked down at him, had the audacity to be disgusted. “Clean that up.” 

He sits there for just a few moments. He goes to the funeral. It’s a nice service, but the fruit platter leaves a lot to be desired.

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I checked the timeline for what would be going on in BoJack's life when he was 22, and it seems it's right smack before Horsin' Around starts up, so I feel it would be a really interesting time in his life for this to happen. He would have had to be around his mom, which makes sense since we know he had this hope in him that someday their relationship would be better. We know that for a time he WAS trying. I also thought that Beatrice's mom dying would REALLY create this tense, tangled, volatile web of emotions for Beatrice where I absolutely believe she'd fly off the handle like this. I know realistically it wouldn't make sense for her mom to die in San Francisco, since they're from Michigan, but for the sake of the story let's just pretend they moved sometime between the 60s and the 90s. 
> 
> Who wants to talk BoJack??? On tumblr I'm @dirtfungus. Is there a BoJack Horseman fandom???


End file.
